This project is based on the murder of my father in 1998 when I was five years old. One day, I Googled my dad’s name and came across an article titled ‘Bloody Times: An Uncontrollable Wave of Murders, Kidnappings, and Robberies Hit Lima with More Fury Than El Niño Himself.’ In that article, I found a photograph with my father’s name; he was covered in blood in the passenger seat of his car. I recognised his t-shirt as one I had seen him wear.
Several years later, I started to investigate his murder in depth. I was motivated by the urge to build a relationship with him. I found objects that he had on him when he was killed; developed rolls of film that he hadn’t shared, and pored over videocassettes, police documents and a notebook of his. I combined his photography, writing and objects with photographs I took while researching his murder, and included parts of the murder trial documents that disclosed other details of the case.
This project is not only about investigating and understanding my father’s murder case, but exploring who my father was within my family, and what kind of partner he was to my mother. It was also a process of re-engaging in conversations with them, and with myself.
And finally, the project focuses on what his loss meant to my family, and the trauma that we have experienced for a long time. By doing so, I was finally able to feel the grief that I was denied as a child; the pain and frustration which anyone who has unexpectedly lost someone can identify with.